So Lonely
Now no one's knocked upon my door For a thousand years or more - The Police, So Lonely, 1978 When I think back on my experience of growing up autistic (and unaware of it), the time period that stands out most starkly is my late teens to my late 20s (the late 1970s to the late 1980s), dominated as it was by a bleak, pervasive, and often overwhelming sense of loneliness. In his 1955 book, The Interpersonal Theory of Psychiatry , American psychiatrist Harry Stack Sullivan describes loneliness as "...an experience which has been so terrible that it practically baffles clear recall..." And even now I'm finding my own years of intense loneliness painfully difficult to recall - I've been writing this blog post in short bursts over a period of weeks, with long gaps in between. It was in the last few years of secondary school that I began to really realise how little I fitted in with other people - how they thought, how they saw the world, what was imp...